Two new reviews at the Vault: HATE CRIME & LADY OF THE DARK: GENESIS OF THE SERPENT VAMPIRE

HAPPY (early) VALENTINE'S DAY B-MOVIE FANS! As a gift to you (sort of) may I present two new capsule reviews at the Vault! First up is guest writer Kenny Barnwell's review for LADY OF THE DARK: GENESIS OF THE SERPENT VAMPIRE, a rather terrible-sounding artsy indie vampire flick, in which a women gets bitten by a vampiric snake, only to become  a man-hating bloodsucker herself.

Next up is my review for James Cullen Bressack's HATE CRIME, a found footage/home invasion flick that showed me that I am NOT the jaded Horror fan I thought I was. The film is brutal, disturbing, and a painstakingly created faux snuff film that is definitely not for the faint of heart!

Next up on the chopping block will be SOUL VENGEANCE, a 70's blaxsploitation flick where the main character uses his superhuman penis to avenge himself. It sounds like pure gold, but if what I heard is true, I'm about to suffer.... a lot.


Is it me, or does the narrator sound like a young Morgan Freeman?

I'm also working a retrospective article about my experiences at The Hudson Horror Show, a new INDIE FILMS YOU SHOULD BE STOKED FOR article, and of course, a smattering of new blog posts.

Stay tuned for more new content here at the Vault! And be sure to follow me on Twitter and Facebook!

New capsule review for KLOWN KAMP MASSACRE!

I just uploaded a new capsule review to the Vault archives, for KLOWN KAMP MASSACRE! Described as "Friday the 13th" meets "Killer Klowns from Outer Space," this low-budget slasher/comedy received high marks from Vault contributor Kenny B. Check out the trailer for it below:




If Troma keeps doing what they are doing, this film could end up for free on Youtube in the near future! If that happens, then I'll definitely check this one out!

Well, that's it for tonight folks, but have no fear, for I have a few more of Kenny's reviews in reserve, plus I'll be taking part in an upcoming roundtable/blog-a-thon called SLATEROCALYPSE later this month. Also, I'll be recording a Youtube video soon, answering the handful of questions posed by some of the Vault's Facebook fans a few weeks back. So stick around, because there's a lot of new content coming your way!

New capsule reviews at The Vault: el monstro del mar and The Demon Messenger!

Finally, there's fresh new content at the Vault! There's now two, count 'em TWO, new capsule reviews in the Vault archives for your reading pleasure. The first is from our new contributor Kenny Barnwell, for the indie creature feature EL MONSTRO DEL MAR. Shot in Australia, this ode to the films of Russ Meyer and Roger Corman features a trio of "murderous vixens" who end up battling against a tentacled terror from the deep!

Next up is THE DEMON MESSENGER, a locally shot monster movie featuring hippies and societal commentary about hydro-fracking. And it has people driving and talking... and walking and talking in the woods. OH YEAH! I almost forgot, it also has a totally bad-ass monster that belies the film's small budget! The film is premiering at the Art Mission Theater in Binghamton, NY next Friday (the 13th)! If you want to see it, click here for details on how to win two tickets! Hurry because the Friday the 13th is fast approaching!

More new content and contests coming up as the weeks continue so stay tuned b-movie fans!

New Capsule Review: Conan the Barbarian (2011)

I finally completed my review for CONAN THE BARBARIAN and it is not an overly positive one. I really did give it a chance, and I gave my buddy Bill the benefit of the doubt because he was so positive that I would like it. Unfortunately in the end, the film did nothing but disappoint me. Give the review a look and then decide for yourself if you want to see Momoan the Bore-barian in action.

Oh and check out this totally hilarious video I found on Youtube. It pretty much sums up my feelings towards the new Conan:

First blog post of 2011 + Updates galore!

Greetings all and welcome (belatedly) to the Year 2011! After months of taking a break from doing work on the Vault, I am back with a vengeance! First off, here is what's new:

• Though it never really took off, I've decided to continue to maintain the IT CAME FROM THE VAULT FORUM; I cleared out a bunch of old posts (and spam), and deleted (or combined) many of the boards and categories. Hopefully this makes the discussion boards a little more appealing, and maybe, just maybe they'll finally see some use. If you've been a frequent reader of the Vault and haven't joined the forums, please do so!
  
  
• I've added a new appendage to the B-Movie Film Vault called THE CASUAL GAMING BLOG. Along with fellow b-movie scribe Derek Miller (from BadMovieRealm.com), we have been posting gaming news, reviews, and articles since early December. Head on over and check it out won't you?
  
  
• The B-MOVIE FILM VAULT GENRE WATCH is back! CLICK HERE to read the latest blog post and keep up to date on all the cult-oriented films hitting store shelves, online retailers, and movie theaters! (Note: Nothing worthwhile in theaters this week; "Ernest Triple Feature," "Hey Vern, It's Ernest! - The Complete Series," and two new Roger Corman Cult Classics releases from Shout! Factory are the DVD highlights this week!)
  
  

• Two new reviews are up on the site. First up is a guest review from Holly "Hobgoblin" Tingey for BURIAL GROUND: THE NIGHTS OF TERROR! The second review is from yours truly and revels in the absurdity of Drew Bolduc and Dan Nelson's "bodily fluid-drenched indie masterpiece," THE TAINT.
  
  

• I'd like to take a moment to welcome another site into the growing B-Movie Film Vault Empire, namely RADIATION-SCARRED REVIEWS. This site is the brainchild of Bill Adcock, and is chock full of extremely well-written reviews for cult films. I am proud to be hosting this quality website and hope to conquer more of the web with Bill's help as the years tick by. If you haven't visited R-SR.com yet, then head over now to increase your knowledge of b-cinema!

My only problem at the moment is wondering... what the heck do I do with this here blog? At this stage in the game, I don't really need it to help promote new updates or share news (the forums and the Vault's OFFICIAL FACEBOOK PAGE have that pretty much taken care of), and I prefer to host future articles on my own site so.... what ever will I do with this little chunk of the internet that I have staked a claim on? I have thought about deleting this blog, but that seems like such a waste. I guess it'll just sit here and collect dust until I can find some use for it. (Any suggestions would be more than welcome.)


That's everything for now b-movie fans; here's to a prosperous and eventful 2011!

New Capsule Review: Dinosaur Valley Girls (1996)

While Steven Spielberg's "Jurassic Park" had its share of rip-offs (like "Carnosaur"), the film also had an effect on the low budget softcore porn / sex comedy market. Movies like "Dinosaur Island" and "Beach Babes From Beyond 2: Cave Girl Island" popped up, as did an often overlooked movie entitled Dinosaur Valley Girls!

In this film, an action movie star named Tony Markham travels back in time to a prehistoric landscape full of stop-motion dinosaurs, comic relief cavemen, and sex-starved cavegirls in order to meet the girl of his dreams. If you're looking for Oscar-winning performances, amazing special effects, or an engaging storyline go elsewhere. However, if you're a fan of boobs and fart jokes, then this just might be the movie for you!

Check back again soon b-movie fans for another new review (for "Bitch Slap!") as well as a co-op article or top-ten list with my main man Bill from Radiation-Scarred Reviews!

New Capsule Review: Closed for the Season (2009)

For those of you that frequent the site (and blog), you may recall that I have just recently attended Monster Mania Con XIV and saw the world premiere of Jay Woelful's "Closed for the Season." I didn't go into too much detail about the film on my MM XIV blog posts, (with so much going on, I didn't really have the time) so I decided to take it upon myself to review the rough cut of the movie. "Closed for the Season" is a very surreal horror film and constantly messes with the expectations (and minds) of those who watch it. Keep an eye out for this cinematic oddity as it will be hitting DVD later this year.

Stay tuned for more review action as I attempt to put a dent in this stack of review screeners that has been building up on my desk!

First ever Guest Review at the Vault: Teeth (2007)

The B-Movie Film Vault proudly brings you the first every guest review the site has ever had! Guest writer "Holly Hobgoblin" tackled the dark and twisted horror-comedy, TEETH. This film follows the hardships of Dawn, a girl trying to maintain her virginity in this sex-crazed world we live in. Things take a turn for the super weird when poor Dawn discovers that she has razor-sharp teeth lurking in her lady-parts, but eventually she learns to live with that curious mutation and even use it to her advantage. (i.e. Her vaginal fangs destroy anything that goes into her "hoo hoo dilly" without consent.)

A review for Krull is forthcoming as is a new Genre Watch article and more fun stuff! Stay tuned b-movie fans!

New Capsule Review: The Wildman of Kentucky - The Mystery of Panther Rock (2008)

The first new review of the New Year is here, and it's for an amateurish documentary about the existence of Bigfoot and other natural phenomena in the Frazier Land of Kentucky. Check out my capsule review for The Wildman of Kentucky: The Mystery of Panther Rock!

Amidst the footage of the "Reality Team" traipsing about the spooky woods of the Frazier Lands at night and interviews with Bigfoot witnesses, we also get totally out-of-place hard rock music by "Freakhouse," and odd CGI "recreations" of Bigfoot appearances. However, the strangest thing in the entire two-hour running time is probably the CGI Indian dancing for Bigfoot amidst a sea of flames! (No I'm not kidding.)

I have about another five documentaries from Reality Entertainment to check out ranging from Sherlock Holmes, to Vikings, to Alice in Wonderland that I have yet to check out, but they are going to be on the backburner for a bit longer because I have a roundtable review (WAR OF THE GARGANTUAS!) to tackle, along with Robot Monster 3D which was chosen well over a month ago by readers in the last "Torture the Vault Master" poll.

Stay tuned for more b-movie goodness; blog ya later!

New Capsule Review: The Wild Man of the Navidad (2008)!

A mysterious creature terrorizes a rural Texan community in The Wild Man of the Navidad . This bastard child of The Legend of Boggy Creek and The Texas Chainsaw Massacre is based on the (supposedly) true events as chronicled by a man named Dale S. Rogers, and was not nearly as entertaining as I had been led to believe by fellow online reviewers.



More new content is on the way including more reviews, a new podcast, and (hopefully) a holiday-themed top-ten list, so check back soon b-movie fans!

New capsule reviews at the Vault for "Race With the Devil" and "Zombieland!"

Greetings b-movie fans! After yet another hiatus (seriously, I really don't plan on taking breaks. They just sort of happen.) I'm back, and my reviewing batteries have been recharged. Don't believe me? Then see for yourself and check out my reviews for Race With the Devil (1975) and Zombieland (2009)!

Halloween is fast approaching (24 more days!) so expect more new reviews and other content at the Vault! Also, be sure to check out the latest roundtable event, thought up by the big cheese of b-movies webmasters, Andrew Borntreger of Badmovies.org infamy! All this month, all of us part-time reviewers will be tackling monster movies, right up until the 31st! To see what's been posted thus far, visit the MONSTER MAYHEM ROUNDTABLE PAGE!

That's it for tonight gang, but expect a review for "The Wild Man of the Navidad" to be appearing shortly, along with (hopefully) a new edition of the B-MFV Genre Watch!

Blog ya later b-movie fans!

New capsule review for Gris Grimly's "Cannibal Flesh Riot!" (2007)

I make my triumphant return to reviewing films with a fresh (and rather lengthy) capsule review for Gris Grimly's "Cannibal Flesh Riot!" This half-hour short film revolves around two grave-robbing ghouls who end up biting off more than they can chew when their latest "dinner plans" go awry. Check out the trailer for "CFR!" below:



I hate to even promise this but... expect a lot more updates at the Vault and SOON. A large group of us b-movie webmasters are holding a roundtable next weekend with a focus on movies based on video games. Since I'm a glutton for punishment (and since anything else I would have picked was already taken), I decided to review the horrible big screen adaption of the classic "Double Dragon" video game, which stars Robert Patrick, Mark Dacascos, Scott Wolf, and Alyssa Milano.

After that's out of the way, I have a trio of screeners that I plan on reviewing, and after they are taken care of, the sky is the limit! I'm hoping to get a good number of reviews posted this month, whilst keeping the BMFV Genre Watch updated weekly, and I even hope to get a new podcast recorded and uploaded for your listening pleasure.

So stay tuned for lots of new stuff b-movie fans! Blog ya later!

New capsule review for "The Ghouligans! Super Show!" + New installment of The BMFV Genre Watch!

The updates just keep coming! Tonight I posted a review for the fun indie short, "The Ghouligans! Super Show!" This forty-minute sketch comedy show features a ragtag group of goofy monsters, a trio of cute go-go girls, and overdubbed luchadors in all sorts of humorous situations. (Learn more about this flick and get yourself a copy at the Official Ghouligans website!)

And just in time to do your DVD and Blu-ray shopping tomorrow, here is the latest installment of the now weekly, B-Movie Film Vault Genre Watch! Notable DVD and Blu-ray releases include: "HULK VS.," "Dead & Buried," "Dead of Night," and "Redneck Zombies: 20th Anniversary Edition!" Sadly, the only genre release in theaters this week is "The Uninvited." It looks ok, but seems more like a solid rental to me. In my opinion, if you want to spend nine bucks at a movie theater this weekend, then go see "Taken" with Liam Neeson.

All of this updating has made me pretty tired, so I'm going to retire for the evening and watch a flick or two. G'night b-movie fans!

Kicking off 2009 with a Harry Warden double feature!

Well here it is b-movie fans, the first (and definitely not last) update of 2009! For your reading enjoyment, I present you with two items: First, there's the updated review for the classic 1981 slasher film, My Bloody Valentine, complete with screencaps and a fresh review for the new Lions Gate DVD release. (Which by the way is UNCUT!) The second item of interest is a brand new capsule review for My Bloody Valentine 3D, which was a whole helluva lot of fun to see on the big screen. There's tons of gore and mayhem, full frontal female nudity, and the 3D effects were fantastic! Pickaxes, fiery explosions, eyeballs, and more pop out at you, bringing you closer to the action on the screen!

I've got more stuff on the way including this week's Genre Watch post (I've decided that posting a weekly list of upcoming cult DVDs and theatrical releases is far more easier than compiling four weeks of info and putting into one single article), a long overdue capsule review for "The Ghouligans! Super Show," plus I still have to hammer out the rest of the "Wanted on DVD" page.

So enjoy those two reviews slasher fans and be sure to check back at the Vault soon for more new updates! Blog ya later!

New capsule review for "Twilight" (2008) is up at the Vault!

Yeah yeah, I saw this freakin' movie, so sue me. My girlfriend dragged me to the theater (quite literally) and I had very low expectations. That is probably why I didn't completely hate (or love) "Twilight." The film has a few glaring problems (as does the source material which claims that vampires are not destroyed by sunlight, but merely become glittery fairies when hit with direct UV rays), but overall it's watchable and not too awful. I'd say it's pretty much for teenage girls and fans of the books (who are primarily, GASP!, teenage girls). Check out my review HERE.

I have a lot more stuff in the works for the site and I plan on jamming this month with a lot of updates. I'm hoping to complete three more reviews, my December Genre Watch article, and an all new section for the Vault. Keep an eye out for all of that over the next few weeks.

Oh and there's less than three weeks left to get your Christmas shopping done, so get to it b-movie fans!

New Capsule Review: Eric Falardeau's "COMING HOME"

With the posting of this review I have managed to kill two birds with one stone: I have finally added a new review to the site and I've finally reviewed my screener copy of Eric Falardeau's "Coming Home." I first experienced Eric's unique brand of film making two years ago, when I was still writing for Rogue Cinema. Years later, his skill has naturally improved, and I find myself quite impressed with his latest short film, "Coming Home," which is essentially a mystery/revenge flick with a fairly gory outcome. Be sure to read my review for this extremely well-made indie short by clicking HERE. For more info about Eric and all of his films, visit the Out Of Nowhere Productions Myspace Page.

I have this Monday off and plan on spending a good chunk of it in front of the computer, so don't be too shocked if you see more new stuff on the site early next week. Blog ya later b-movie fans!

I have discovered the "Black and White Ecstasy" of ZEBRAMAN!

Taskshi Miike is best known for the shockers he's made, such as "Ichi the Killer" and "Audition," but would have thought that this man had a lighter, more family-friend side? "Zebraman" is proof that Miike can branch out from doing horrifically violent films, and is one of the better superhero comedies I've come across.

Mild mannered Shinichi Ichikawa is never taken seriously by anyone. Then, one fateful night, while running around his neighborhood in a homemade Zebraman costume (styled after his favorite tokusatsu hero), he engages in battle with a rapist wearing a crab-mask. After utilizing some amazing acrobatic moves and delivering a face-crushing blow to the perpetrator, Shinichi runs off and soon embraces his destiny of becoming the REAL Zebraman!

This was a very fun film, and I can't help but recommend it. Check out my capsule review for "Zebraman" HERE, and feel free to post your thoughts about the film and/or review HERE.

Stay tuned for an updated review from the OLD Vault archives, plus a roundtable review for 1981's "The Burning." Oh, and don't forget to cast your vote for what bad movie I should review in the "TORTURE THE VAULT MASTER" poll! Blog ya later b-movie fans!

New capsule review at the Vault: Godzilla vs. Hedorah (1977)

Well I finally did it! I finally got a new review posted at the Vault, and I have to say that it felt pretty good to add some new content to the site, though I had to really rush to get it done today. (I got so immersed in finishing up the review and getting the rest of the site updated, that I was a teeny bit late for work. Oh well!) So without further ado, here is my capsule review for "Godzilla vs. Hedorah" (a.k.a. "Godzilla vs. the Smog Monster")! This review is the final component of the "Reduce, Reuse, Recy-KILL" roundtable, which was set up by Anubis Von Mojo, the webmaster of THE TOMB OF ANUBIS. The topic of choice for this group effort was "nature strikes back" (and "nature run amok") films, and there's a good variety to choose from, so get reading b-movie fans.

Oh and as a treat, here is a cool vintage trailer for the U.S. release of "Godzilla vs. the Smog Monster." So cheesy, but so good:

Stay tuned for that pesky full-length review for "Legend of Dinosaurs and Monster Birds." It should be hitting the Vault within another week or two; it all depends on how busy I am! Blog ya later b-movie fans!

Capsule review for Dai-Nipponjin now posted!

Hello dear readers and fellow b-movie fans! I'm currently finishing up work on two reviews, so here's a little something to hold you over until I'm done:

CLICK HERE to read my capsule review for "Dai-Nipponjin!"

"Dai-Nipponjin" is an insane comedy/mockumentary about the darker side of being a giant Japanese superhero! Meet Masaru Daisatou: He's in his forties, is heading towards divorce, makes barely enough money to survive, and is Japan's only hope against giant monsters! Whenever his country is threatened by kaiju, Masaru gets ritualistically electrocuted to become Dai-Nipponjin (pictured above). Read more about this film at IMDB.com, and visit the official Dai-Nipponjin website!

Stay tuned for two new full-length reviews for "Legend of Dinosaurs and Monster Birds" and "Puppet Master!" I'm currently in the process of writing each and hope them both posted within the next few nights. Have a good night b-movie fans and keep fighting the good fight!

Boy am I tired.....

Ok, so here's what's going down with the Vault guys and gals. I've pretty much finished the remodeling I wanted to do on the site. There's still a few things I need to tweak (the forums and blog mainly) before the revamp is complete. Also, I'm working on TWO new reviews this week for "My Bloody Valentine" and "Alien vs. Predator." The latter will be my contribution for an upcoming "VS. Roundtable." But what about that capsule review for "My Demon Lover?" Well its posted HERE. Keep an eye on the Vault between Thursday and Saturday for the new reviews and the complete upload of the newly remodeled B-Movie Film Vault! I've been working feverishly for the past week to get all this stuff done, and by the end of this week, I'll be taking a well deserved break! Well g'night b-movie fans! Keep fighting the good fight and don't let normal cinema-lovers get you down. :-D