Two new reviews at the Vault: HATE CRIME & LADY OF THE DARK: GENESIS OF THE SERPENT VAMPIRE

HAPPY (early) VALENTINE'S DAY B-MOVIE FANS! As a gift to you (sort of) may I present two new capsule reviews at the Vault! First up is guest writer Kenny Barnwell's review for LADY OF THE DARK: GENESIS OF THE SERPENT VAMPIRE, a rather terrible-sounding artsy indie vampire flick, in which a women gets bitten by a vampiric snake, only to become  a man-hating bloodsucker herself.

Next up is my review for James Cullen Bressack's HATE CRIME, a found footage/home invasion flick that showed me that I am NOT the jaded Horror fan I thought I was. The film is brutal, disturbing, and a painstakingly created faux snuff film that is definitely not for the faint of heart!

Next up on the chopping block will be SOUL VENGEANCE, a 70's blaxsploitation flick where the main character uses his superhuman penis to avenge himself. It sounds like pure gold, but if what I heard is true, I'm about to suffer.... a lot.


Is it me, or does the narrator sound like a young Morgan Freeman?

I'm also working a retrospective article about my experiences at The Hudson Horror Show, a new INDIE FILMS YOU SHOULD BE STOKED FOR article, and of course, a smattering of new blog posts.

Stay tuned for more new content here at the Vault! And be sure to follow me on Twitter and Facebook!

New Capsule Review: The Wild Man of the Navidad (2008)!

A mysterious creature terrorizes a rural Texan community in The Wild Man of the Navidad . This bastard child of The Legend of Boggy Creek and The Texas Chainsaw Massacre is based on the (supposedly) true events as chronicled by a man named Dale S. Rogers, and was not nearly as entertaining as I had been led to believe by fellow online reviewers.



More new content is on the way including more reviews, a new podcast, and (hopefully) a holiday-themed top-ten list, so check back soon b-movie fans!

The "Godmonster of Indian Flats" gets hogtied at the Vault!

Three months ago, readers and visitors alike chose "Godmonster of Indian Flats" in the second Torture the Vault Master poll. For those of you who picked this cinematic atrocity I hereby curse you! While it wasn't the worst thing I've ever witnessed, it was pretty damn bad and I definitely suffered through it. But was it bad enough? Hell no! I can take worse abuse, and you'll get your chance to dish out more in the third "Torture the Vault Master Poll." (Which may become a quarterly tradition if it gains in popularity.)

Here is the trailer for this awful cinematic atrocity:

Expect my old (and updated) review for "Army of Darkness" to pop up on the site tomorrow night, along with a new edition of the BMFV's weekly Genre Watch!

And just so you know: "My Name is Bruce" and "Chocolate" hit DVD and Blu-ray tomorrow! Woohoo!

UPDATE: "Army of Darkness" and this week's Genre Watch have been delayed by my intense urge to watch a Friday the 13th movie. Expect that stuff to pop up on the site very soon!

Forum gets an upgrade + Arcade (1993) returns to the ye olde Vault archives!

Well after a few false starts and numerous failed attempts, I finally managed to figure out how to upgrade the software for my forum. Though I lost a few cool mods that I had installed (the reputation system chief amongst them), I am quite happy with how things went. (Luckily I backed up the forum files before going full steam ahead with the update.) Please, feel free to swing by the BMFV forum (which is chock full of movie and DVD news) and give it a look-see.

Also, be sure to check out my refurbished (old) review for the 1993 Albert Pyun / Full Moon classic, Arcade. This is a pretty bad flick (though not nearly the worst I've ever seen) that features a sentient virtual reality game that steals the souls from anyone who sucks at video games.

Here's the trailer for this straight-to-video schlocker:


I was hoping to finally review "Godmonster of Indian Flats" before the month was over, but alas, it was not meant to be. Have no fear though, because that awful giant mutant sheep epic will become part of the Vault archives in the very near future; probably even as soon as Monday night. I'll keep you posted on my progress with that review and will announce its arrival at the Vault as soon as I get it uploaded.

Well that's it for tonight. I'm friggin' tired and I need to get up relatively early to go to the bank, so g'night everyone!

The exodus has begun: A*P*E has come home to the Vault!

I was feeling a bit restless (though now I'm tired enough to hit the hay) and decided the begin the long, painful process of moving my old reviews from the Vault's Geocities archives, to my current domain. I cleaned up and posted my old review of A*P*E, so that it's readable and fits with the rest of the site.

This is just the first of about 110 reviews that have yet to make the transition to my current site. It's going to be a long process, but in the end, the Vault will be complete, visitors will have plenty to read, and I can finally say goodbye to Yahoo Geocities forever.

I'm going to bed, so enjoy the new (Old) review and have a fantastic night!

Updated Review at the Vault: UNCLE SAM (1997)... wants YOU dead!

Just in time for the 4th of July, UNCLE SAM (1997) makes its triumphant return to the B-Movie Film Vault review archives. This updated review is a bit meatier and even has an mp3 download (found at the bottom of the page in the EXTRAS section). For those of you who haven't seen this flick (count yourselves lucky), Sgt. Sam Harper was killed during "Operation Desert Storm" by friendly fire. When his body is returned to his hometown, Sam returns from the dead, dons an Uncle Sam costume, and goes around town murdering unpatriotic folks. Eventually South Park's Chef (Isaac Hayes) ends Sam's killing spree with a cannon!

Have a happy and safe 4th of July b-movie fans! Enjoy the holiday weekend, and stay tuned for that pesky "Legend of Dinosaurs" review in another week or two.

Beware! The Blob (1972) review is online!

My contribution to the BLOB FAMILY PICNIC roundtable is now online! (And only three days late! I'm getting better at meeting deadlines! Hooray! ;-) Out of all the blob and slime-monster films I could have picked, I went with one of the worst in that particular sub-genre. Sure the effects are neat at times (behold the power of reversed footage!) but when the cast is full of annoying and unlikeable characters, a massive man-eating slime creature from space can't chow down fast enough. (Sigh... talk about suffering for your art....) Just click on "Beware! The Blob" (1972) on the list below to check out my review!

Here's the full roster of participating sites and their reviews:
Shadow's B-Movie Graveyard - The Blob (1958)
The B-Movie Film Vault - Beware! The Blob (1972)
Badmovies.Org - The Blob (1988)
Cinema Suicide - First Spaceship on Venus (1960)
Darksider's Realm - The Stuff (1985)
Side Order of Ninjas - The Green Slime (1968)
The Tomb of Anubis - The H-Man (1958)
wtf-Film - Enemy From Space (1955) & Quartermass 2 (1955)

Enjoy all the reviews b-movie fans and thanks for all the support you've given all our websites! Stay tuned for more new (and old) reviews at the Vault, plus, expect another roundtable event at the end of October! Blog ya later!